by:
09/10/2023
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An interesting story in the Book of I Samuel starts around chapter 18 about a close friendship between soon-to-be King David and King Saul's son, Solomon.
This story has been interpreted in different ways, but I want to share two things the Bible mentions about their relationship.
In Chapter 20, Jonathan tells David, "The Lord be between me and thee."
Also, Chapter 18 says that Jonathan's soul was knit with the soul of David.
That's a great gift of friendship when God does knitting. And according to Colossians 2.19, He does that from time to time.
Colossians 2:19 reads: "And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God."
This verse in Colossians is part of a larger passage in which Paul warns the Colossians against false teachings and the importance of acknowledging Jesus Christ as the Head of the Church. It also emphasizes the importance of unity within the Church. The "body" refers to the Church as a whole, and the "joints and bands" symbolize the various members of the Church who work together to support and nourish one another.
The phrase "increaseth with the increase of God" refers to the Church's growth and expansion, both spiritually and in number. This emphasizes the importance of unity within the Church and encourages believers to work together to support and nourish one another, realizing that being in Christ, He has knit us together!
It's been my experience that the best friendships are found in the Church, not merely in a local church we attend but in the universal Church that Jesus is building.
One of my favorite scriptures is Psalms 68.6, which says, "God setteth the solitary in families…
This verse demonstrates that God is so giving and kind that people with no other friends or family can find a friend in the Lord.
God can also bring people back together with their families or put them with
people who can care for them like a family would.
Everyone needs friends because they bring comfort,
support, and welcome company in happy and sad times.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Sometimes, friends can be as close or closer than family.
Christian friends are considered family.
Although far from perfect, Christian friends are at least in training, trying to learn how to behave like good friends and the kind of family you'd want to hang out with!
Romans 12:10 tells us to be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.
Proverbs 17:17: A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
A brother or a friend is designed to be there for you, especially in adverse situations. Tony Evans says: When do you need a friend the most? Not when you're on top. A true friend stays with you when you're heading downhill when times are rough. Sometimes, you don't know who your friends are until you're in trouble.
Too many of us are Lone Ranger Christians. Too often, we try to make it by ourselves when God's plan is for us to grow, serve, and love as friends and family.
You can't fulfill all those "one another" commands of Scripture by yourself.
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
Proverbs 18:24
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
There's the family reference again.
What a treasure a good friend is.
We should cherish and cultivate Godly friendships.
Even Jesus understood the value of friends.
Jesus not only visited the family, but it seemed like He felt free to drop in any time He wanted. The fact that he loved the family is stated three times in John 11, verses 3, 5, and 36.
The story of Lazarus's resurrection is one of the most well-known in the Bible, and it shows how much Jesus cares about his friends.
Isn't it awesome that we also know Him as our friend?!
He's the real friend that sticks closer than a brother.
Mark 3:14 also demonstrates Jesus's appreciation of friends.
Mark 3:14
And he ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach.
Ordaining them to preach seemed secondary here to friendship.
When reading the Gospels, Peter, James, and John seemed to be extra close friends.
Jesus knows the value and blessing of friends, and that's why He encourages it. Make the effort to be a friend and cultivate friendships, and I believe He'll bless it.
Proverbs 27:10
10 Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not;
neither go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity:
for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.
Make new friends but keep the old,
One is silver, and the other is gold.
Proverbs 27:10 is another verse that shows how friends are often more valuable than some family members.
It advises not to forsake a friend or family friend who has been loyal and faithful through the years.
It also suggests that when you're in trouble, it might be better to ask a close
friend for help than a brother who lives far away and might not be able or as willing to help?
When thinking of cultivating friendships, I think of Proverbs 18:24 again.
Proverbs 18:24
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Even in the Church, the idea of showing yourself friendly is often misunderstood. To be part of a church, giving and caring should go both ways.
It's very common in any church to hear someone express disappointment that they've been away for a while and no one called or reached out to them. Sometimes, when that happens, I want to lovingly ask, "Did you call anyone at the church?" Does the Church know you want the connection? If that is not made clear, it might be thought that you just left. Most people who leave a church don't give a courtesy notification. They just go.
A call back to the Church to clarify your situation is helpful. Do you need prayer or help of some kind? The Bible says, is any is sick among you, let him call for the elders of the Church.
Something else to consider: maybe no one called you because they all might be struggling as much as you and desperately need your care and prayer, too. People forget that a church connection is a relationship, not only a goods and services provider. You need the Church to stay in contact with you, and the Church needs you to stay in contact with them. Cultivation is needed on both sides of the relationship. The Church is people too; they need your friendship and prayers as surely as you need theirs.
We need each other, and sadly, we sometimes fail each other. But when we do, we should recognize our friendships are valuable and worth preserving and cultivating. Overlooking shortcomings is part of preserving and cultivating a relationship.
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A good church is a treasure, and a good church member is very much a treasure.
The Apostle Paul understood that a friendship was not all taking and no giving. He wrote to the Church in Rome saying he prayed for them often and longed to come to share and give of himself to them and receive their comfort and strength.
Romans 1:9-12
9 For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers; 10 making request, if by any means now at length I might have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto you. 11 For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; 12 that is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.
The best friendships are fairly balanced.
Good friendships are a blessing from God.
God likes to knit.
Like David and Jonathan, we must appreciate and cultivate friendships and keep God between us.
Another point to remember:
Our friends have a tremendous influence on our lives.
Please make sure you have Godly friends.
Yes, we need friends, but we shouldn't make poor choices to avoid loneliness.
Psalm 119:63
63 I am a companion of all them that fear thee,
and of them that keep thy precepts.
Proverbs 27:17
17 Iron sharpeneth iron;
so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Tony Evans says we need friends who will challenge and sharpen our thinking, help us make good decisions, and help us hone our spiritual lives until they are razor-sharp. Good friends work to rub off dull edges and make each other better. That's why we need ministries and churches full of men and women talking about more than work, the weather, and sports.
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We need to pick good friends but also "be" good friends.
We certainly influence one another. Your influence matters.
We can affect, sway, pressure, impress, persuade, impact, and drag around one another.
- Your influence is contaminating every person around you for the good or bad.
- Between what they were and what they are is "you."
BETTER INFLUENCE
A Peanuts cartoon showed Peppermint Patty talking to Charlie Brown in which she said, "Guess what, Chuck? The first day of school and, I got sent to the principal's office. It was your fault, Chuck."
Charlie Brown responds, "MY fault? How could it be MY fault? Why do you say everything is my fault?"
To which she declares, "You're my friend, aren't you, Chuck? Then you should have been a better influence on me!"
This quote by Bernard Meltzer emphasizes the importance of accepting and loving our friends despite their flaws. True friendship is not based on perfection but on love, acceptance, and mutual support.
We should cherish our Godly friendships and be a true friend,
never taking them for granted.
1 Comments on this post:
Nancy Smith
This is one of my all-time favorites of your wonderful sermons. There's so much food for thought, and guidance when I am struggling with family or friendships. The warmth of your friendship is helping me carry on. Thank you for being you!